OMG summer's over and time is moving at warp speed! This year I am getting ready to launch my oldest off to college (this is his last year at home)...and yeah, it's freaking me out a bit. (I am so grateful for the 1:1 time I had with him on our California road trip. Made. My. Summer.)
Anywaaaaaaay....as I reflect on how freaking FAST time flies and how little we really have in a 24-hour period 🙂 and how best to honor the things that are truly important....
It's become clearer to me that life is happening now, and that my (daily) actions matter. I used to be able to say "oh, I'll do it tomorrow...or the next day...or after I'm not so busy...blah blah blah..." Not a great strategy for a deeply fulfilling life.
TODAY is the new TOMORROW, people! Not in a pressure-kind-of-way, but in a let's-stop-putting-off-what-matters kind of way.
There are 4 F's that STOP us - over & over again - from taking those steps TODAY into what really MATTERS to our soul.
Fight, Flight, Freeze, Flop.
(And one F - the most important of all - that will propel us forward).
I am sure you have heard about FIGHT, FLIGHT, and FREEZE.
These are neurobiological responses to fear/terror/stress.
{"Flop" is also a response that can happen when we feel helpless and terrified. We basically just "give up" and collapse}.
In a nutshell, when our mind (conscious OR unconscious) experiences something scary, our "animal instinct" kicks in to protect us. We yell, fight, hide out, collapse to stay SAFE. Good job, amygdala.
The problem comes in when, as adults, these Fs get activated but we are not currently in a dangerous situation.
These are the things that sabotage our desires, keep us in stuck-mode, and hold us back from our dreams. Because when we are fighting or fleeing or freezing, we are unable to also respond consciously + thoughtfully + intentionally.
And ironically, they often get activated when we are faced with something we WANT
(Huh?? That's weird).
For example...
01
The woman who has a deep burning desire to write and publish her book, but finds a million other things to distract her (flight), because deep down she's afraid of rejection/failure/success.
02
The woman who wants a relationship with a great guy, but as soon as she meets someone she likes, shuts down emotionally (freeze), because deep down she's afraid of getting hurt.
03
The woman who wants a relationship with a great guy, but as soon as she meets someone she likes, shuts down emotionally (freeze), because deep down she's afraid of getting hurt.
04
The woman who desperately wants to grow her business because she LOVES what she does, but the thought of being judged by others, being rejected by a potential client, failing (or succeeding!), stops her in her tracks. (freeze; flight).
05
The woman who wants to make more money and take responsibility for her finances, but just "can't" look objectively at her spending or earning (flight). Instead, she picks a fight with her partner/boss/self for not doing enough (fight).
06
he woman who wants better sex, but instead of expressing her desire to her partner (freeze) or creating new connections, she complains about other shit that bothers her (fight).
All of these situations - and many many many more - have one thing in common:
They are activated by DESIRE, and then, quickly, our unconscious pops in and says: "NOOOOOO....SCARY....STOP RIGHT THERE, WOMAN! This is DANGEROUS!"
The thing is: Getting rejected by a publisher or a client or an audience is not actually dangerous. Being disappointed in love, also not dangerous. Being judged by our friends or colleagues - also, not an actual danger.
So this is where i want to teach you the most important F of all.
READY??? Say it with me (sorry Mom):
FUCK IT.
TODAY is the new TOMORROW, people! Not in a pressure-kind-of-way, but in a let's-stop-putting-off-what-matters kind of way.
